Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Introducing Mr. P's Mom


Has anyone seen this on Style Me Pretty 2 days ago? Wow, I was just so moved, I'm not sure why. Actually, that's a lie, I think I do know why...
Mr. P's mama passed from cancer just 7 months ago. I'm struggling with how to deal with this in relation to the wedding. I asked Mr. P if he wanted to dance with my mom for a mother-son dance, he said 'no.' I asked Mr. P if he wanted my mom to walk with him down the aisle, he said 'no.' I asked Mr. P if he wanted to mention his mom during the ceremony, he said 'no.' I asked Mr. P if he wanted a remembrance for his mom at the reception, he said 'no.' Seeing the pattern here?
But look at that moving image above...it's a simply-framed photo of a happy David with one of his loves, cigars. (Read the bride's words here.) This memory involves the guests of the wedding in such a classy way. This is exactly the type of subtle thing I would like to do for the reception on a table right outside the room where everyone would pass before they go in.
When Mr. P and I discussed the matter (well, not really discussed, they were simple question-answer moments and that's it) he did not seem too stern about it. He just said he didn't want to make a big deal out of it (which is how he's dealt with her passing as well.) So I definitely would never push my mom to dance with him for an official mother-son dance where I sneakily tell the DJ to play a prepared song. I definitely would never alter our ceremony to include words about his mom or light a candle. But...I am toying with doing something like this. It's been months since this things have been brought up. Now that a lot of time has passed and he's more stable about it, I think he would maybe be pleased with the fact that I did something small and nice since she cannot be with us. I definitely know her family would appreciate it and I know for sure her closest cousin will be coming (she had no siblings.)
So, two questions go out to you all:
  1. Should I frame a picture and put a small display together for Mr. P's mom in front of the reception?
  2. If so, what should the display or giveaway be to make it personal like the image above? (Some background to help: She was from Panama, the country, she was a Spanish high school teacher and loved her job and before that was a Pan Am flight attendant...she actually got hijacked TWICE! Can you believe?! Wow.)

7 comments:

Katy said...

What about doing little packages of airline peanuts instead of cigars? or something airline-ish.

Adrienne said...

I LOVE the idea of having a framed picture of her up....but I have no idea what to tell you about the giveaway.

AmyJean said...

This is a tough one ... (I blogged about something similar today). For us, its FH's brother who passed when he was 12 over 15 years ago. Yet for some reason, he still is hesitant to really want to do anything big... so we're contemplating a quiet recognition ... perhaps either on my bouquet, or a memory table...
RelentlessBride

My Dream Ring said...

I love the idea of having her picture present at the reception. That is very personal.

Raquel said...

Totally love the picture idea as well. Were his parents married when she passed? If so, their wedding photo might be nice. But if not, hmmm... Maybe you could find out what her favorite flower was and put a pretty vase of them next to her picture with a little card that explains it. Or what about a bowl of apples since she was a teacher (you know the whole apple for the teacher thing?). And the card could say "An apple for the teacher... in honor of (her name)" or something like that.

Cat said...

We are facing that exact same issue, but it's my FH's father that passed away several years ago. We have talked about having a table with pictures on it or possibly an empty seat at the ceremony. The empty seat may be a bit much for your FH though seeing as it has only been a short time since she passed.

jessica lynn said...

my Dad passed 3 months before our wedding. it was a struggle to honor him in the right way without overdoing it or making it too emotional. i bought a candle that had 3 wicks {one for each of our grandparents and 1 symbolizing my Daddy}. It was placed near the altar and we had a friend light it before our ceremony {when no one was watching}. It served as a physical reminder that my Dad was there watching over us. We included a little snippet in the program about our loved ones that couldnt be there with us physically that day. When it came time for the Father Daughter dance I gave a toast to my Daddy...it was perfect. Hope that you find the right way to honor her. :) Check out my blog for the post{s} that I did about this topic.